I was also on a beach.
There was a city made of driftwood.
The sign said, “No dogs allowed”
Now I understand.
I looked on and on and on into the madness of forgotten bones; they all have their place, I thought. They know where home is. I was still only searching, restless despite my fervor and concentration.
Am I doing this right? Is it fair?
I picked up one stick after another; I never wondered about getting splinters as I worked my way through the desert barefoot.
Would it be peaceful to sleep beneith these stars?
Shall I trade one secret for another?
Will their dry clothes come off?
Can they shine like the moon, like they did a long time ago before breathing was invented?
I was also on a beach, and I never even heard the crashing of waves.
The only thing I could see were the dark places, the without, the infinity that lies between any pair of arms.
That was then; tonight I will wait on a different shore for a man who may never come. I will wait with twigs in my hair and a basket of cedarberries for the one who will guide me to the sea.
Your poem is great. It is deep, and it says a lot – it creates feeling. First of all it made me jump.. I´m also???? Also? Who elde? Me? You involved me, the reader in your poem at the first glance, great! That´s what made me wanting to keep on reading.
I like your contrasts. A city made of driftwood but no dogs allowed? Almost haha, but it is a sad poem. What do you understand?
The only thing I am missing in your poem is some space between lines… so that I can breath 🙂
I love your poem. Thanks for sharing, and please get published in a book… for example at Lulu.com 🙂 When it happens, let me know.
Maggie
You paint a beautiful picture with your words. 🙂
Great poem!
Love this poem, the feel and sound, the texture. Your words are wonderfully crafted here.
You poem is so wonderful how you keep searching and all the beautiful things you see and describe the city of driftwood where no dogs are allowed on the beach and the bones left behind so you can understand. Wonderful explanations in your words
http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/21/remember-the-years/
Well done. Love the layers of this one. Here’s mine:
haha you were also on the beach? lol.. 🙂 tq for coming by irene..
“They know where home is,” a line that I dare say that too many people cannot write about themselves. Excellent!
Lovely…questioning, seeking.
amazing explorations, well done piece of poetry.
Felt like a dream–images and thoughts making pictures of life.
Vivid imagery!
Really beautiful, thank you
thanks
This is an intriguing, lyrical, and well written poem; thank you.
elegant.
wow.
please spend time reading your peers, leave a comment to let us know after you are done returning favors and making a minimum 18 comments,
Happy Rally.
Thanks a ton for the beautiful entry and instant participation.
To have shown a world which can never be a part of the world we live in,and a world that I’ll always crave about now that I have read about it,i don’t know whether to feel sad for myself,or wonderfully elated.
A poem rich with emotion and mystery. I can’t put all the pieces together, but I like the pieces. . . and the overall effect.
restless with concentration, opposite ideas but it worked in your piece, real cool! 🙂
my entry: http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/2011/11/24/your-asogwe/
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